But here’s the thing about modern language: context is a dying art. I clicked the coupon. I braced myself for something NSFW. Instead, I was greeted by a high-resolution image of a dew-covered, bright pink grapefruit can of .
If they hand me a soda, I win. If they call security, I also win. squirt coupons
Here is where the internet breaks your brain into two distinct hemispheres: But here’s the thing about modern language: context
Immediately types ‘urban dictionary squirt’ into a private browser tab. Instead, I was greeted by a high-resolution image
I opened the folder (yes, I actually checked my spam quarantine, as one does at 2 AM when insomnia hits). And there they were. Digital coupons for “Squirt.”
I consider myself a pretty savvy internet shopper. I have a separate email address just for loyalty programs. I know how to stack discounts at the grocery store. I’ve even successfully used a “30% off your first order” code for a pizza chain three times using different Gmail periods.
“Oh, nice! Squirt is that citrus soda. The grapefruit one. That stuff is great with a shot of vodka or just on a hot day. I wonder if it’s for the 12-pack or the 2-liter bottles?”