"Printer makes screaming noise. Also, my desktop icons are wiggling."

“Uninstall is not available for this product. Please contact your system administrator.”

The screen went black. Then, pixel by pixel, an old Windows 95-style dialog box assembled itself:

“That’s not possible,” he muttered. The printer in the corner—an ancient HP LaserJet 4 that predated most interns—whirred to life. It spat out a single page: “HELP ME. THE CLIP IS BACK.”

proplusww.msi had done its job. Installation successful.

"Product: Microsoft Office Professional Plus 2019 — A soul requires installation. Destination: AARON_PC. User: AARON. Proceed? (Y/N)"

Dear User,