Nikki Abdl !!top!! — Official

For the uninitiated, ABDL is often reduced to a punchline or a scandal. But for people like Nikki, it is a complex coping mechanism that blends the non-sexual (age regression) with the occasionally sexual (fetishism), depending on the individual.

First, she changes. The jeans go away, replaced by a onesie printed with frogs and a pair of thick, crinkly diapers. “The crinkle is the trigger,” she explains. “As soon as I hear that sound, my shoulders drop from my ears.”

“It’s the first thing I bring up, usually by date three,” she says. “And it is terrifying every single time.”