She spent the next hour mopping the bathroom floor with vinegar to neutralize the spills, then called a plumber. The plumber, a calm man named Carlos, looked at the etched porcelain and said, “Next time, just call me. Caustic soda works—but it also eats old pipes, kills septic bacteria, and blinds people who lean over too fast.”

The reaction was instant. A violent fizz, a hiss like an angry snake, and a plume of caustic steam that hit her face. She jerked back, goggles fogging, gloves still on the counter. The toilet bubbled over with a boiling, alkaline sludge that smelled like burning hair and regret.

That’s when she remembered the yellow tub under the sink. Caustic soda—sodium hydroxide—left by the previous tenant. She’d seen TikTok videos promising it would dissolve anything. Desperate, she grabbed rubber gloves and safety goggles (the only smart move she’d make that night).

Or, as Carlos said, “You want a story or a working toilet?”

Without removing water, she poured half a tub of caustic soda crystals directly into the already-full bowl. Then, remembering she “needed water to activate it,” she poured in a kettle of hot water.

“No, no, no,” she whispered, plunger already in hand.