Gun-toting Ant !!link!! May 2026

Within an hour, El Chapito had formed a militia with three other ants from under the fridge. They now guard the toaster with a zeal that is both impressive and terrifying. I cannot make toast without a written negotiation.

The gun is glued to the ant’s thorax. This is not ergonomic. The ant drags one side of its body, leaving tiny, furious drag marks across my countertop. I’ve seen it try to climb a vertical wall. It spun helplessly like a broken ceiling fan. Gun-toting? More like gun-dragging. gun-toting ant

My ant, whom I’ve named “El Chapito,” immediately tried to shoot a breadcrumb. The recoil from its 0.0001-caliber pistol sent it flying across the kitchen, where it accidentally fired again and took out a ladybug on the windowsill. The ladybug survived, but its self-esteem didn’t. Within an hour, El Chapito had formed a