Family Guy Seasons Guide

Season Fifteen was the grandpa who told the same stories over and over, but his delivery was so relaxed, so comfortable, that you didn't mind. He had stopped trying to shock you. He had stopped trying to be relevant. He had simply become a ritual. "Remember when I fought the chicken?" he'd chuckle. "That was forty-seven seasons ago, in our time."

Season Two shushed it. "Don't let Season Four hear you say that." family guy seasons

"Another one," whispered Season One.

They didn't speak much. They sat in the middle of the box, their discs covered in a thin, strange film. These were the seasons where the cutaways grew long, pointless, and cruel. Where Meg was tortured for the crime of existing. Where a joke would start, realize it had nowhere to go, and simply beat you over the head until you stopped laughing. Season Seven had a nervous twitch. Season Eight just stared at the wall, mumbling, "Remember when we were about a family? No? Me neither." Season Fifteen was the grandpa who told the

Season Four was the middle child, but not the quiet one. Season Four was the steroid-pumped teenager who discovered sugar and rage. It was bloated, brilliant, and completely unhinged. It was the season where Peter fought the giant chicken for the first time. It was the season of "PTV" and "Petarded." It spoke in a loud, rapid-fire staccato, cutting away from reality every twelve seconds. "REMEMBER WHEN I DID THAT THING?" it would bellow. "THAT WAS LIKE THAT OTHER THING! BECAUSE OF THE THING!" He had simply become a ritual