So, my girlfriend is the sweetest person alive—genuinely kind, always sees the best in people, and believes the world is basically a Disney movie. At first, I thought it was adorable. Now? I’m low-key terrified for her.
The kicker? Her roommate’s sketchy ex-boyfriend asked to “crash for a few days.” She said yes without asking a single question. I had to explain that “crashed” doesn’t just mean tired—it means living on your futon and eating your ramen.
College is hard enough without dating someone who thinks the Nigerian prince email is a genuine scholarship opportunity. Send help. Or a helmet for her. college stories: my girlfriend is too naive!!!
“Babe, that’s a scam.” “But it says ‘congratulations’ and has a smiley face!” “So does my Venmo request for ‘emotional damages.’ Doesn’t mean it’s legit.”
I love her, I really do. But I’ve started proofreading her life choices like they’re freshman essays. And honestly? I’m one more “but they seemed nice!” away from wrapping her in bubble wrap and hiding her in the library. So, my girlfriend is the sweetest person alive—genuinely
Then yesterday, she left her dorm room unlocked all day because “someone might need to borrow a charger.” A stranger could’ve walked in, taken her stuff, and she’d probably leave a note saying “Hope you enjoy the snacks!”
My Girlfriend Is Too Naive!!!
Last week, she got an email saying she’d won a “college giveaway” — a brand new laptop and $500. All she had to do was send her social security number and a $50 “processing fee.” She was already reaching for her wallet when I stopped her.